Saying Goodbye

Bittersweet seems to be the only word that gives even a tiny glimpse of how I feel about this time to say goodbye.  I recently read a blog with the most eloquent words and truth.  As I read her words, I felt as if she was writing my heart....

"It’s always a journey for me to look back on the ways in which God has brought different people in and out of my life, and as I examine closely, I am able to see glimpses of the purposes of those relationships in relation to God’s plan that he is daily unfolding in front of me.   Every tear has lead me to a different joy and to a new song."

Her words are just beautiful.  That specific line really struck a chord with me, and reminded me of one of my all-time favorite praise songs, Desert Song.  I will always love this song because no matter what is happening in life, in the desert when its hard or in the harvest when blessings are abundantly clear, it reminds me to simply praise the Lord. 

"All of my life, in every season, You are still God.  

I have a reason to sing.  I have a reason to worship."

From the beginning of the semester, my heart has been rooted in thankfulness.
I'm thankful God kept four of my best friends together during a difficult transition back to JMU for a 5th year.
I'm thankful  for the opportunity to work this year- the ups and downs and the skills I've learned.

I'm thankful  for the incredible experiences throughout this semester - adventures with friends, visits to/from family and friends, building new relationships, a beautifully encouraging Bible study and so much more.   
I'm thankful  God placed me in an incredible classroom to teach and love kids, and that His Hand was visibly working there.   
I'm thankful  to be here for a 5th year to gain all of these incredible memories. 
I'm thankful for God's sovereignty, His peace, His love, His grace, His forgiveness, and how He has taught me and humbled me this semester.
I'm thankful for His great plans ahead and for working in His mysteriously wonderful ways to prepare the way.  (Obviously, I do have some absolutely incredible things ahead... The best probably is that in a little less than 7 months I will be Mrs. Stephanie Ching!!) 

Countless verses have come to mind reminding me of the plans He has for me and it's so exciting to see how God will continue to mold me. My heart just doesn't know quite how to let go....I know that so many others have these same feelings whenever there is a time to let go of something you deeply cherish.  Over the past month, I have prayed for His peace, comfort and just the strength to embrace each day and to love deeply.  He is ever-present, reminding me of His grace this semester and I am just filled with immense gratitude that (thankfully) counter-acts the sadness that my heart is drawn towards.   I have still shed many tears, and I'm sure I still will as emotions come when its time to leave.  I will undoubtedly dearly miss these people, this place, and this time. Yet I know He has captured my heart during this journey at JMU, and as long as I seek His face, I will be satisfied in Him in any situation. 

"I'm running to You arms, the riches of Your love will always be enough." 

- Forever Reign by Hillsong (another all-time favorite!)

Amidst our final preparations and packing (or I'm kind of starting to finally pack! haha), I sat down this morning for a final quiet time before going to Guatemala.  I was encouraged to read Psalm 121, and to meditate on how the psalmist characterizes God.  I love this Psalm, and several parts of it spoke to me more than ever before. -

I lift up my eyes to the hills -

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip - 

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you - 

the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm -

he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

When preparing for a trip, I think it is easier to pray that God provides protection and keeps us safe.  While this may be true, we should also seek God to BE our Protector, to be there with us.  As missionaries prepare to spread the Word of God, they can rest assured that they are protected.  It will look different in every circumstance, but if they look to the Lord for help, then His Word says that they are protected, not by anything created, but by the Creator of everything.  I am going forward, confident of that, and confident that the Lord is with us, not just sending us as His laborers.

I think it's so beautiful when you have open hearts, just allowing God's Word to speak to you.  This morning was an example of that.  I'm constantly amazed at how God chooses to reveal Himself, and I know this journey has also encouraged me, again, to seek to know Him more.

Again, thank you for all of the prayers and encouragement! :)

Preparing for Guatemala!!

A week from tomorrow, my mom and I fly to Guatemala to meet a team of 35 others from GAIN to serve and take supplies. Thanks to a conference call with our team going to Guatemala, reality is finally setting in!  When we are there, we are partnering up with Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU) members in Guatemala.  According to our director, we will most likely see about 4,000 children in schools in 4 days.  That sounds overwhelming!!  I'm trying not to let those numbers overwhelm me, but just prepare my heart for how God is going to use us.  As I really reflect on how this is going to work, I am just so amazed that God can use our little team to reach that many people!!  I've realized that, more important than simply those numbers, is the impact I hope the Gospel makes on the lives of the teachers, administrators, students, parents, and even interpreters involved in this trip.

As I've been preparing spiritually for this, and as I've already heard about what God is doing in other areas around the world, I've realized how powerful bold prayer is.
 
If you are willing, there are so many things I can ask you to pray for as we prepare to go, .

• pray for our team to really be united as one body in Christ- coming in from all ages and places in the nation, that God uses our love for Him and willingness to serve to unite us all!! 
• pray for our safety as we travel and stay in Guatemala City and Jutiapa (this is the first time my mom & I are traveling out of the country, so we are super excited/nervous for all the traveling!)
• pray for the team preparing our work there and that God lays His hands over each person and over all preparation (spiritually, mentally, physically, etc) - I'm praying and trusting that He provides exactly what these people need and blesses it in ways we cannot imagine.
• pray (I know especially for me) that we are committed to being humble servants and messengers throughout this trip, boldy preaching about God's love and Jesus and testifying to how He works in our lives. 
• pray for the children. :)  I'm praying that God opens their hearts and prepares the way for His Word to speak to them when we can share about Him.  I want them to know they can have hope, everlasting joy despite their circumstances, and the love of a Savior.   
• pray for EVERYTHING that is about to happen.  I'm trying to open my heart and mind, not putting God in a box, but praying boldly for His Spirit to be present and to change people.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us." - 1 John 5:14

Thank you so much for each & every person who supported us in this journey so far!!  I think it is so beautiful how everyone is involved in expanding God's Kingdom and I am so blessed by the support and encouragement!! :)  We are also praying for everyone "at home" when we are there!  Thank you for your prayers!

"And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard?...How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news." Romans 10:14-15

THE PROPOSAL :)

The first thing people ask when they know I got engaged, seems to be "How did it happen? What did he do?"...  So, here's the story, from my perspective, of this beautiful event!!

At the beginning of the summer, Jason and I had planned for him to come up to JMU to visit!  I've been taking Grad classes since May 12, and literally I've traveled every weekend since I started, so I was so excited to have a weekend up there to hang out!  I also know that my two roommates, (Brooke & Christine) who had just finished Maymester classes, had decided to stay for the weekend.   And it gets better... I also found out that three other Loveboat ladies (Kerri, Margaret & Megan) were coming up for the weekend!  I was so excited to have a weekend with the girls and Jason!  Believe it or not, I was not at all suspicious they were all going to be here the same weekend because they all told me a variety of reasons why they were coming & I just love how coincidences work out like that! :)

So before Jason comes up, he tells me he's doing a new video for his church on the Love passage (1 Cor 13:4-8) and he wants us to make it together!  He tells me his plans and ideas, and I'm gladly going along with this new, fun activity we are going to do together.  When he came up Friday, we made posters for the video, and he shared his "vision" - and also nicely reminded me that HE was in charge and just kindly asked me to cooperate and go along with his "vision," so I did.  :)  We had also planned to have a picnic after doing the video, just to enjoy the beautiful day in the arboretum!  So, on a gorgeous Saturday morning (June 9) we head out with video cameras, posters, & lunch to the Arboretum at JMU!  Little did I know what was actually about to happen.... After our last shot, Jason said he forgot to get a shot with us reading the passage in the Bible together.  Still just going along with the project, I go along with it, and we walked back to this bench to get that shot.  I sit down, he fixes the cameras, and I still had NO idea.  He gets the Bible out, turns the pages slowly, and opens up to a page with the most perfect, sparkling engagement ring sitting on a cushion IN the Bible!!  I was literally speechless and COMPLETELY surprised!
My heart was overjoyed and tears flowed down as I realized what was happening.  I composed myself enough to listen to him ask me to marry him and make myself say YES! And I sat there just trying to comprehend the fact that he just PROPOSED and we are ENGAGED! As I processed, I ask if we still were actually making a video, and he nods, but says it is for us. :)  Now that I feel completely clueless, I ask if the picnic is still real, and it is!  We sit and talk and I ask if the girls or my family knows, and he says NO.  THEN, I'm kind of excited because I thought I was going to get to surprise them all :) We finish the picnic, pack up and head back to the apartment.  I was still SO clueless.  As I open the door to my apartment, I see my family, his mom & sisters, all the roommates coming that weekend, and several amazing friends from home ALL THERE,  screaming at me and running towards me!  EVERYONE KNEW!!  Again I was speechless, overwhelmed, crying, and so thrilled that these incredible friends and family were there to support us!! :) They continued to tell me that they had known for a few weeks, and were sworn to secrecy -- I'm so impressed everyone kept a secret from me for that long!  We had the best time celebrating with everyone; I could not have imagined it any other way.  Honestly, Jason and everyone planned everything perfectly, and God just blessed us so much that day with the love and support of so many wonderful people! 


Hopefully that explains the overall feelings and how it happened.  I am still trying to stop staring at the ring and process everything!

THANK YOU so much for all of the encouragement, love and support throughout our relationship and in this exciting time! :)

NEW BLOG!  Because of the events that recently occurred and those to come, I have decided it is time to start a blog to reflect and to share what's happening!

This summer has already been a whirlwind!  Starting May 5, I graduated from JMU after four years, with a degree in Interdisciplinary Liberal Studies (IDLS) -- basically Elementary Education.  This time was extremely bittersweet.  It was amazing to celebrate and recognize the accomplishments, but incredibly hard to see this season come to an end.  In a super short summary, college has been an incredible journey for me.  Coming to JMU was literally the best decision, and I praise God for each and every experience.  My freshman year, God took me completely out of my comfort zone, and I was able to truly surrender my heart to the Lord, recognizing Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I have grown up as a "Christian" my whole life, but living my faith out daily was not something I had experienced.  Here, I've been involved in Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU), where I learned how to have daily quiet times reading His word and listening to God's voice.  I could go on and on about the wonderful ways God spoke through this ministry and the people involved, but I will just say He is amazing! Through this organization, I met my closest friends (and roommates!) who became my support system at JMU.  These girls are kind, compassionate, adventurous, forgiving, understanding, and the most fun-loving Christian women I have ever known!!  We were all involved in a small group Bible study, starting freshman year, and it has been amazing to grow together and to see one another surrender to the Lord.  I praise God daily for them in my life, and I know that this community and friendship is deeper and more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined.

Graduation was bittersweet because this time and community that we had come to know and love is now changing again.  These girls have truly become my family and support system here, and we know that this is extremely valuable and unique.  While it was an emotional roller coaster and still hard to process, we each have so much to look forward to.  It's a process of surrendering our plans and securities, and trusting God to take us into the unknown once again and show us where the next step might be.


After graduation, I knew that my summer it was going to be different than I had ever experienced before.  I was unable to coach swim team :( because I had to start classes for Graduate school from May 12- June 22.   Between two Grad classes, attending a bridal shower, attending and being part of a wedding, my brother graduating & all of those festivities, I already knew that things would be BUSY through June!! THEN (it only gets better!) -- in July, my mom and I are going on a mission trip to GUATEMALA :) and then taking a family vacation to CALIFORNIA!! TRAVEL SEASON!! As I looked at the events about to unfold, I knew I really had to seek God as my source of love, joy and hope because all other things were going to be constantly changing.  So far, He has blessed me in ways I cannot explain and I already LOVE all of the experiences and adventures!!  I am continually reminded that I cannot do all things on my own, but He strengthens me and fills me up, and I love serving Him!

Just recently, someone else threw a little curveball in my crazy little life -- my boyfriend, Jason, came up to visit JMU this past weekend and TOTALLY SURPRISED me by PROPOSING!! It was so beautiful & absolutely perfect for me :)  He is such an incredibly thoughtful, loving, understanding, passionate man of God, and I cannot wait to start a life together (and to share with everyone what happened!)